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After Priest Exorcises All Demons From Her Home, Pelosi Becomes A Republican - SAN FRANCISCO, CA According to sources, Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi recently recruited several Catholic priests to exorcise her home of evil spirits, and as a result, has joined the Republican party.
After Priest Exorcises All Demons From Her Home, Pelosi Becomes A Republican
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U.S. Blows Itself Up So China Can't Have
U.S. Blows Itself Up So China Can't Have It
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15 Reasons Completely Unrelated To The Vaccine People Are Dying Suddenly - Have you been wondering why so many people are suddenly collapsing? Well, it's definitely not in any way related to that one thing, that's for sure! The world's top experts have been hard at work studying what could cause this uptick in deaths.
15 Reasons Completely Unrelated To The Vaccine People Are Dying Suddenly
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Second-Grader Suspended For Misgendering An M&M
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Blue Cross CEO Admits It Would Really Help If Sick Insured People Just Killed Themselves
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Experts Warn Gas Stoves May Slowly Ingratiate Selves In Family To Kill And Take Place Of Matriarch
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7 Ways To Spot An FBI Agent Twitter
7 Ways To Spot An FBI Agent Twitter Profile
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2024 Election To Be Decided By Whoever Can Keep Hand On White House The Longest
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30 Other Things Investigators Found In Biden's Garage - Investigators found classified documents in President Biden's garage. No one really knows why it was there, including Biden. But the real story is all the other stuff they found. His garage was a veritable treasure trove of scandal!
30 Other Things Investigators Found In Biden's Garage
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Millions Of Lives Saved By Person Wearing Mask While Walking Alone On Sidewalk - ONTARIO, CA Local woman Karen Bain saved millions of lives this week when she put on a mask for her morning walk. She reportedly took a brief walk down the street and was careful to avoid direct contact with people, grateful for the mask that was saving both her life and the lives of others.
Millions Of Lives Saved By Person Wearing Mask While Walking Alone On Sidewalk
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Biden Tries Wearing Tan Suit To Distract From Scandals - WASHINGTON, D.C. As investigators continue to find more and more classified documents in various Biden residences, the President attempted to divert attention from the scandal this morning by appearing in a tan suit.
Biden Tries Wearing Tan Suit To Distract From Scandals
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Buttigieg Defends Job Performance By Reminding Everyone He's Gay
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Democratic Women's Caucus Wears Matching White Butcher Coats In Support Of Abortion
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10 Clever Ways To Avoid Persecution For Your
10 Clever Ways To Avoid Persecution For Your Faith
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Pregnant Joker Holds Bank Hostage Until Someone Brings Him Pickles And Ice Cream - GOTHAM CITY Fear gripped the city today as a maniacal villain once again put innocent dozens of citizens' lives at risk as the Joker (who is reportedly pregnant) and his gang of homicidal clowns held the First National Bank of Gotham City hostage until his unusual demands were met.
Pregnant Joker Holds Bank Hostage Until Someone Brings Him Pickles And Ice Cream
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Experts Say They Don't Know What Thing Is Causing Everyone To Suddenly Collapse, But It's Definitely Not That One Thing
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After 15 Grueling House Speaker Votes, America's Long National Nightmare Can Finally Begin
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Nation In Shock As Politicians Show Up To Work 4 Days In A Row
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Per Obscure Constitutional Rule, Speaker Vote Will Now Be Decided By 'Wipeout' Obstacle Course
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Favorite Snack In Every State
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Elon Musk Named Honorary Congressman After Making $200 Billion Disappear
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Republicans Gather In Congress To Vote On Who Will Fail The Voters This
Republicans Gather In Congress To Vote On Who Will Fail The Voters This Time
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Clowns Debate Who Will Be Elected Next King Of The Clowns
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Essential Government Activities Funded In The $1.7 Trillion Omnibus Bill
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The Babylon Bee's Predictions for 2023
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Self-Loving Tesla Forgives Itself For Running Over Child
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New Canadian Operation Game Just Has You Murder The Patient - TORONTO In an attempt to change with the times, toy and game manufacturer Hasbro has introduced a special edition of its popular game Operation. This new version of the game, available only in Canada, simply has players end the patient's life immediately.
New Canadian Operation Game Just Has You Murder The Patient
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Things To Never Say To A TSA Officer
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Elon To Stay As Twitter CEO After Counting Mail-In Votes - SAN FRANCISCO, CA After posting a Twitter poll that seemed to indicate most Twitter users want him to step down from Twitter's leadership, Elon Musk has revealed that millions of mail-in ballots sent in yesterday confirmed most people want him to stay.
Elon To Stay As Twitter CEO After Counting Mail-In Votes
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Wife Begins Funeral Arrangements For Husband After He Fails To Respond To Text Within 13 Seconds
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'Liberals Are Disrespecting Marriage!' Says Man On 3rd Marriage
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10 Upsides To Socialism - When socialism arrives, you're going to want to be ready to "look at the glass as half-full" even if the glass is empty or even if there is no glass! Here are 10 new perspectives you can adopt in the glorious socialist utopia that will help you make the best of things!
10 Upsides To Socialism
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Government Warns That With Elon Owning Twitter They Will Only Control 97% Of The Media
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White House Lit Up With Symbol Of Religious Cult - WASHINGTON, DC The White House was lit up with the colors of a fanatical cult this week, officially signaling the Biden Administration's establishment of a new state-sponsored religion. The move has received both widespread applause and serious concerns about the First Amendment implications.
White House Lit Up With Symbol Of Religious Cult
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How To Get Your Book Approved For The School Library - School libraries are safe spaces for children to open their minds to the virtues of cross-dressing and Communism. But if you wrote a book about sea turtles and their wacky adventures you may find trouble getting your story approved by the librarian. You're going to need to update that timeless tale for a contemporary audience.
How To Get Your Book Approved For The School Library
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DOJ Arrests Sam Bankman-Fried For Running Out Of Bribery
DOJ Arrests Sam Bankman-Fried For Running Out Of Bribery Money
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Hillary Clinton Awarded Honorary Canadian Medical License
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Elementary School Lesson On Water Cycle Explains How Water Becomes Property Of Nestlé
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Customers Unenthused By Latest American Girl Doll 'Steve' - U.S. The latest doll from the classic American Girl line is expected to miss projected sales numbers for the holiday season following an unenthusiastic launch. The doll, named Steve, is the company's first openly transgender doll.
Customers Unenthused By Latest American Girl Doll 'Steve'
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Zelensky Seen Sitting On Mall Santa's Lap Asking For Another $50 Billion - RESEDA, CA A small commotion broke out and stopped Christmas shoppers in their tracks at a local mall today, as Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky was seen sitting on the mall Santa's lap and overheard asking for an additional $50 billion in funding for his nation's ongoing war against Russia.
Zelensky Seen Sitting On Mall Santa's Lap Asking For Another $50 Billion
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A Half-Serious Prediction Of What The Next Two Years Will Look Like
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ABC Reveals All 'GMA' Anchors Have Been Castrated
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Biden Decides To Read 'Art Of The Deal' After Getting Ripped Off In Griner
Biden Decides To Read 'Art Of The Deal' After Getting Ripped Off In Griner Trade
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Library Kids Excited To Hear Story Read By Mysterious New Drag Queen Kirkdazzle Glameroni
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Biden Calls For $50 Billion To Help Ukraine Track Down Notorious Russian Arms Dealer - WASHINGTON, D.C. On the heels of a much-publicized prisoner exchange involving WNBA basketball player Brittney Griner, the Biden Administration issued a call for an urgent need to help Ukraine hunt for a notorious Russian arms dealer known as the "Merchant of Death," who is now believed to be on the loose.
Biden Calls For $50 Billion To Help Ukraine Track Down Notorious Russian Arms Dealer
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Sen. Warren Initiates Ban On Replica Weapons After Terrifying Musk Tweet (Parody)
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In Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day Address, Kamala Harris Urges Nation Not To Forget January
In Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day Address, Kamala Harris Urges Nation Not To Forget January 6
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Study Finds Masks 75% Effective At Keeping Kids Safe From Oxygen
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SWAT Team Busts Down Door Of Denver Woman's Home To Apologize For Previous Raid
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Horrified Balenciaga Teddy Bear Can't Remember Safe Word - PARIS A teddy bear became seriously injured Sunday night when it couldn't remember the right safe word during a progressive bondage-themed photoshoot for kids at Balenciaga headquarters. Ambulances were dispatched to the scene where they treated the innocent toy and transported it to a nearby teddy-bear hospital.
Horrified Balenciaga Teddy Bear Can't Remember Safe Word
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DNC, Media Collude To Suppress Story About DNC, Media Colluding To Suppress Story
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China Taps Governor Gretchen Whitmer To Lead Lockdown Enforcement - BEIJING This week, dozens of Chinese citizens died after the Chinese Communist Party welded their apartment doors shut and a fire broke out in the building, sparking protests. China has doubled down on its "Zero COVID" policy, however, and has tapped Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer to lead its COVID lockdown enforcement measures.
China Taps Governor Gretchen Whitmer To Lead Lockdown Enforcement
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Obama Wondering Why US Team Didn't Just Drone Strike Iranians - QATAR Former president Barack Obama was among the millions of Americans who enjoyed watching the United States' thrilling 1-0 victory over Iran in the World Cup. However, after the game he had questions about the Americans' strategy.
Obama Wondering Why US Team Didn't Just Drone Strike Iranians
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New Elf On The Shelf Will Scan Your Social Media Account To See If You Misgendered Anyone
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FBI Closely Monitoring Gathering Of Christian Nationalists
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Karine Jean-Pierre Insists It's Not Her Job To Answer Questions Like Some Sort Of Press
Karine Jean-Pierre Insists It's Not Her Job To Answer Questions Like Some Sort Of Press Secretary
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10 Health Benefits Of Social Media
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Tim Cook Says He's Ready To Pull Twitter From App Store Once President Xi Gives The Order - CUPERTINO, CA Apple CEO Tim Cook confirmed this morning that he's prepared to remove the Twitter app from the App Store but that he's waiting for orders from CCP President Xi before he makes a move.
Tim Cook Says He's Ready To Pull Twitter From App Store Once President Xi Gives The Order
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Bob Iger Vows To Cut Back To Only 7 LGBT Characters In Every Kid's Movie
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10 Ways To Protect Your Kid From
10 Ways To Protect Your Kid From Groomers
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